You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
