She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
