Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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