Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
