So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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