U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
