FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
