I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
