Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
