Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
