of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
