Yo dont text me then not text me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
