so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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