i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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