he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
