Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
