I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
