Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
