That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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