Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
