Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
