i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
