More tranny stories later!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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