saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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