Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
