I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
