well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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