I heard we made out
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
