When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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