I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
worst night to have a conscience
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize