hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
