literally had 100 drinks last night.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
