id be glad to
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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