I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
