I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
