Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
