I'm gonna have a badass scar
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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