My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
