I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
