I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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