I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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