If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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