Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
