imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
