Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
