My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
organizing the empties. That sober.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
