can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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