I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
