he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
