The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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