At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
