WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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