I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
