Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
