Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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