Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize