girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
