I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
thus making me awesome and them whores
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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