I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
