just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no, he came in my armpit
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
